"Back In My Day..."

DISCLAIMER

Many people have told me their “back in my day" stories and they are in no way annoying!! I actually find the differences of raising a child in different decades fascinating.  What really gets my goat is when people complain and pass judgment about how “modern” parents are raising their kids… that is the premise of this post.  Please continue to tell me your stories about how you raised your babies,I love to hear them!  Just don’t be a judgy little b*tch about how I raise mine!!!  And to be fair, it’s a very fine line between offering advice and help, and telling someone they’re doing it wrong and being a jerk… I get it! But, usually, people who are offering sincere advice want what is best for mom and baby, and it shows through your body langage, your tone, and how well we know you.  If I’m buying a cream at a drugstore, don’t tell me it’s bad for my baby and I shouldn’t be using it if I want to keep my baby safe if you’re behind me in line.  Mind your f*kn business!!!

If I could single out one comment that makes my eyes twitch when I hear it, it would have to be “back in my day” and then followed with some parenting method from 1789.  This thought has been sitting in my mind for months, and for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why it bothered me so much.  Was it the condescending tone that is often paired with the comment, was it the way that people made me feel like I wasn’t doing it right because I wasn’t doing it the “old way”, or was it just because it was annoying?  I landed on all three, because when your hormones have kicked in and you’re running on fumes, everything is annoying.  

I’ve had the conversation with my own mother about how differently she raised my sister and I versus how I’m raising my own daughter, just based on the information that was available to us at the given time.  I was born in 1988, and you can bet your booty that raising a child in 2023 looks a heck of a lot different 35 years later.  We have so much more information and knowledge about how children develop emotionally, mentally, and physiologically that there is bound to be some changes to how parents raised kids now and then.  An example that comes to mind is when I learned that babies cannot have honey because of the risk of infant botulism, and when I was discussing my new -found learning to someone who is, lets say, in the senior stage of life, they told me to put the laptop down because it’s filling my head with all of these bullshit ideas.  How is a new discovery about the healthy development of babies bullshit, and how is it bad that I don’t want my baby to contract botulism? 

 Where I start to get annoyed is when people who are older than me become condescending about how I’m parenting my child just because it’s not what they did.  But why would I continue to use parenting methods that are outdated and have been known to cause either physical or emotional damage, and don’t align with how my husband and I have decided to parent our child? That would be like going to your Dr. now and saying “I have an infection” so they stick some leeches on you and tell you to get some fresh air. WTF?! 

I’m not putting anyone down. Every single parent should be able to parent their child in a way that makes them and their family feel comfortable, as long as it’s not harming anyone! 

So stop being judgy, stop telling me I’m doing it wrong, because I didn’t do it like you… I’M NOT YOU! 

Just be nice to each other.

-Not The Gram-Mom